Parenting Step-Children 2: Let Them Be

Well I was not sure what to say after the first post. The next topic that stood out to me the most was: Let Them Be! Why this title? I have two step-sons, they are 15 and 17 and let's be honest if they were my biological kids they would not want that much to do with me, but because they are my step-sons they want even less! This is actually very good, because I truly believe God does this at these ages so they will feel the want to be independent adults. As a step-parent though, we tend to take this as an outright rejection of us. It is not this at all. When I was 15 I moved in with my Dad, Step-mom and half brother who was two years old at the time. I was so excited to live with my "new" family. I of course started out wanting to do everything with them. As I grew though, they became dun dun dunnnnnn PARENTS!!! AHHHHHHH, I was a decent kid, I definitely was not perfect but OK. I remember my friends and I thought my step-mom was AWESOME because she took us to TP a house. (None of us were legal to drive yet) Then for some reason I turned in to a butthead towards my family. It literally was almost over night. I wasn't always awful but I do remember only wanting to talk to them on my terms. Seriously I look back at myself and think why couldn't I have just been abnormal and been nice to my family? Now all of that being said as parents, we can glean from this. Our kids, step or not feel a want for independence. We all have the chance when they are 1-7 to get tons of snuggles and love, from there on out they slowly start pulling away. As step-parents though we often don't get this stage because the kids are older when we come in to their lives. We step-parents have to respect this need for space even more. If they are not out right rude to our faces, and they are not breaking rules or laws they deserve their space. Make sure you listen when they do speak to you though because they really want you at that moment and time. Try to involve them in your life, if they don't want to be there well, let it go. They don't have that natural bond to you that they do their biological parents but when they want you, they want you, so be ready when they ask for your attention. You get two fruits of the spirit here, Self-Control and Love. Being a step-parent is a blessing and a hard job but if you keep it in perspective it is a lot easier. I told myself a long time ago, at least I am not Joseph raising Jesus. It is not like my two step-kids are the Son of God. :o)